It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
