How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
where am i from again
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
