HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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