Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
