U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
