Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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