Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
the raccoons are back...
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