hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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