i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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