I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
