When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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