I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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