I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
