I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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