New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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