sarcasm needs its own font
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
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How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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