i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
