you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize