am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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