we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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