Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You have to summon your inner elephant
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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