i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
