four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
