i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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