we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
