Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm so fucking centered right now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
