yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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