I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
As shirtless as possible
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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