I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ttyl tear gas
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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