Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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