Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
