I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
