the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I have post one night stand depression
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
