soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
