I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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