i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
