He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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