And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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