I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Randomize
