you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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