that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
