so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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