Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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