she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
