just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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