Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
