Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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