just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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