the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
