So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
