you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
