see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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