I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
