Jerry, you need to find god
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ugly people sure do ruin things
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
